I didn't sleep much during those two days as you can imagine. The morning she was born though, I was finally able to catch some zzzzz's. I awoke to Betsy grabbing a nurse because Lillian's heartbeat was dropping.......and of course with Betsy being a nurse she wasn't taking no for an answer. The nurses were in the middle of a shift change and they had initially wanted to wait until the next shift came on. Lillian wasn't in the mood though. So off we went.
I had a hard time breathing while I was on the table. Maybe it was my nerves kicking in, I don't know, but I felt sick to my stomach throughout the procedure. They informed me once they were inside that they were going to have to make two incisions, therefore forcing me to have a c-section with the next kid. And then she came.
My sweet Lillian came into this world weighing 3 lbs 1 oz. I was so scared when they showed her to me. I know that there would be babies in the NICU far smaller than she was, but when you're expecting an 8 pound baby, a 3 pound one can come as quite a shocker, especially when you've never seen a baby that small. I saw her briefly and then she was whisked away to be taken care of. After they were done with me, they sent me back to my room. It was then that they told me the worst news ever......I wouldn't be able to see her for 24 hours because of my blood pressure. It was still really high and I was at risk of having a seizure so I had to stay put. I started doubting myself, doubting how I'd be as a parent if I couldn't even carry her full term. For 24 hours, this was all that I had to look at.......
And now here we are three years later. She's happy, she's healthy and she's what I am most proud of in my life. She has the most wonderful laugh......her dimples can bring a smile to anyone that sees them......she makes the best funny faces........she's mine. Someday soon she'll have a sibling to go through life with, but in the meantime, I'm going to treasure these moments with my three year old.......my sweet Lillian Grace.
